Moving on

Moving on from divorce

Life after divorce
Here we discuss how to move on after divorce, including dating, jobs, leisure, legal problems and finances.

The decree absolute
Some people think that on receiving the decree absolute, the final stage of your journey through divorce is complete. It can indeed come as a relief and mark a turning point as our own Barefoot Doctor reveals in his article in our Health section. For many though, especially if you were the unwilling partner in the break-up, it can feel like an anticlimax, like being in a void where feelings of uncertainty and doubt once more enter your life.

"I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me."
A. Quindlen

The final part of your journey
But just as you have worked through this process, now is the time to work as hard or even harder on the final part of your journey, Moving on. Although you may have suffered much during the last months or years, you will undoubtedly have changed and gained some new qualities. You may not have reached a settlement that you wanted but there really aren't many who do. The important thing now is to make the best of it, get yourself on level ground and plan ahead.

"The feelings that you stuff, hide and deny are running your life because feelings can never be denied. They must be faced, embraced and healed if you want to start over. "
Rhonda Britten

You cannot change the past
You may be worn out but this is not the time to stagnate, not time to give in after all that you have overcome. Whatever has happened, you are unable to change the past. Now is the time to concentrate on yourself, on your future and your new life. Plan to do something just for you. It doesn't have to be something major, just something a little different in your life that helps you to move on. Be good to yourself. You could look back through our articles in Health for helpful ideas and in the Further help section.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
Judy Garland

A long journey
You may have journeyed a long way with us but you may still occasionally need to revisit some parts of this site, particularly Emotions, Children/Parents and Health. There are times, no matter how strong we have become or seem to be to others, when a helping hand is still needed. Our new News and views section will have a selection of your letters and we shall also hear from our panel of experts.

As we said on our Homepage,
Time is a healer; spend some time with us. From distress to recovery, you are not alone and it will get better. We do hope that we have helped you along this path and wish you the happiness that you deserve.

"And at the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
T. S. Eliot



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