Emotions
Other agencies
Your G.P.
As well as the normal healthcare services he can provide, your doctor
may be able to refer you to a counsellor on the NHS. A health visitor
could provide a valuable service to families. Other helpful services
could be available and each practice is different but your doctor needs
to know about your change in circumstances. Please have a look at our
Health section.
The Relationship Experts - Online therapy and text service
We welcome Paula Hall (Dip. PST - BASRT Accredited - CPCAB Adv Cert
Online Counselling) to the site as a valued and professional therapist.
She is a fully trained and experienced psychosexual therapist and relationship
counsellor. She is also a youth counsellor. As an accredited member
of the BASRT (British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy)
and general member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling
and Psychotherapy) she is bound by their Codes of Ethics and Complaints
Procedure.
What is her background?
Paula has pioneered the UK's first online psychosexual therapy service
online which helps couples with sexual problems. She also provides expert
online relationship therapy. There is also a text service available.
She has helped hundreds of clients, men and women, from all walks of
life with diverse relationship and sexual problems. Can she help you?
What is she like?
She describes herself as an ardent supporter of plain speaking and good
humour. She believes that when these attributes are mixed with kindness
and consideration, any relationship can thrive. We would describe her
as vivacious, extremely professional and capable. Above all, her kindness
shines through.
Why provide an online service?
Here we hear from Paula herself: "I have been working as a couple
counsellor for many years and I know how important a fulfilling sex
life is to a couple's relationship. For many people it is an important
way of expressing intimacy as well as being an opportunity to relax
together and have fun. I have heard couples refer to sex as the 'glue'
of their relationship. As a psychosexual therapist I know how difficult
it is to talk about sexual problems. Many clients already feel confused
and distressed - the thought of approaching a stranger to discuss the
intimate details, just adds embarrassment. Offering an online service
can overcome this. By its very nature the exchange of email is less
intrusive and more anonymous than traditional "face to face" therapies.
Working online offers the proven techniques of psychosexual therapy
to those clients who might otherwise feel too inhibited to seek help.
Paula's website is: www.the
relationshipspecialists.com
Please kindly mention Divorce Aid.
Careline
Tel: 020 8514 1177. This is a confidential crisis helpline and is available Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm and from 7pm to 10pm. It is run by the Cardinal Heenan Centre in Ilford. This is a very busy line.
The Asian Family Counselling Service
This agency provides trained counsellors for Asian or part Asian families. It deals with many problems including those encountered in divorce. Counselling sessions are provided free of charge on weekdays starting at 10am, with the last session beginning at 4pm.
Other appointments may be available and charges can be discussed.
Tel: 020 8571 3933.
The Asian Family Counselling Service, Suite 51, The Lodge, Windmill Place,
2-4 Windmill Lane, Southall, Middlesex UB2 4NJ
Jewish Marriage Council
This organisation promotes Jewish marriage and family life within a Jewish environment. It strives to support the family in a positive way in an age where separation and divorce are on the increase. With over 30 years experience in counselling, JMC's professional counsellors are there to help you and no-one is ever turned away for financial reasons. Their doors are always open. Their motto is, 'When you don't know who to turn to, you can turn to us.'
So if you need help with your relationship, no matter at which stage,
telephone their national appointments line on 0845 7 585 159. Calls
are charged at local rate. If you are in touch with them, please say
you found them via Divorce Aid. Their website can be accessed at: www.jmc-uk.org
Miyad (Hebrew for immediate) is a crisis helpline run by JMC. Whatever the crisis, phone 0845 7 581 999.
It is open Monday to Thursday from 12 noon to midnight, Friday 12 noon to one hour before Shabbat and, during winter, it is open on Saturday nights from one hour after Shabbat until midnight. (Volunteers are kindly requested to contact JMC )
Dialogue is a mediation service provided by JMC for help with sorting out the practical problems of separation and divorce. (See our Sections on Legal and Financial Aid). All mediators are trained by the Family Mediation Association as well as being on the Jewish Family Mediation Register. For more information on how Dialogue can help you, please phone 020 8203 6315
Important information about obtaining a Get
For every Jewish person considering divorce, a civil divorce is not enough. A Get is essential. In Jewish law, marriage and divorce laws apply to all Jews, irrespective of religious conviction. Without a Get, a Jew may not be able to remarry within the Jewish faith. It will have serious implications for both parties and their future families. It is therefore in the best interests of all concerned to obtain a Get.
The Muslim Women's Helpline
The Muslim Women's Helpline aims to provide any Muslim girl or woman in a crisis with a free, confidential listening service and referral to Islamic consultants, plus practical help and information where required.
This is a weekday service operating by phone on 020 8904 8193 or 020 8908 6715 from Monday to Friday from 10am to 4pm.The staff are all volunteers and therefore please be patient when you call as they can sometimes get very busy. You are welcome to leave a message on their confidential voice-mail, in which case they will get back to you - usually within 24 hours. Is counselling available from the Helpline? They cannot promise to provide you with counselling but they hope to be able to refer you to other organisations which can help you. The policy of the Helpline, however, is not to offer online counselling services. Visit their website at www.mwhl.org
You could also contact your local place of worship or local library for further information on services which may be able to help you. There is no need to feel alone. A useful self help list can be found at www.ukselfhelp.info
Fiona Price
Fiona Price is a well known figure from the world of finance where she has worked for nearly 20 years. Fiona has been the recipient of numerous awards, including Cosmopolitan magazine's Women of Tomorrow Award. Fiona is also a mentor, writer, speaker and broadcaster. Her website aims to help others and she says,
"Business has, without a doubt, been the main vehicle for my own personal growth. Business school pales into insignificance by comparison because of its focus on the tangibles. Success depends, at least as much, if not more, on intangibles such as how you handle yourself and the people around you, the state of your health, wealth, relationships and your philosophy on life. I believe that success is whatever makes you happy. Helping people find this (and indeed finding it myself), is the main focus of my life."
Hear more from her at www.fiona-price.co.uk
Angela Gardner has sent us an article:
As we are caught up in thoughts of divorce, perhaps we could spend a few minutes pondering the following lines. No matter what is going on in our lives, reflection and gratitude should not be forgotten.
We wish you enough
At an airport I overheard a conversation at a boarding gate. The elderly
woman said to her brother, 'Our life together has been more than enough.
Your love has always been there for me. I wish you enough.' They kissed
goodbye and she left. He turned to me and said, 'Did you ever say goodbye
to someone knowing it would be forever?''Yes, I have,' I replied. Saying
that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation
for all my grandfather had done for me. Recognising that his days were
limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant
to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
'Forgive me for asking, but why is this goodbye for ever?' I asked. 'I am very ill and she lives too far away. I probably won't see her again,' he said. 'When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?' He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' He paused a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.
When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person
to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them. He continued
and then, turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting
it from memory:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
We hope that the pain you may be feeling will soon be gone and replaced with loving thoughts once more. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but years to forget them. And we can never really truly forget part of our life.
Reach out to someone you care for at this demanding time and let them know how much you appreciate them.
We wish you enough.
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