Emotions
Counselling & therapy
Couple counselling
When a relationship hits the rocks you may be both so confused
that you don't know who to turn to. There may be deeper issues causing
you to feel like this which need to be explored. It is normal to rely
on friends and family for advice and support. But they are not trained
in these matters and there comes a point when they are no longer willing
to listen to you. You need some outside and impartial help. It is much
easier for couples to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved.
Will counselling help?
Put simply, counselling can be very helpful to many people
but will not suit everyone. It does take time usually to benefit from
it although some benefit could be felt immediately. It could help you
to save your relationship or it could bring it to a more peaceful closure.
Couples who have undergone counselling often separate with less bitterness.
Ending a relationship as well as possible will also help both partners
move on and handle the divorce better. If there is less acrimony, all
the family may benefit, especially any children. This could help with
any new relationships and self-esteem. One of the main aims of counselling
is 'to guide us from feeling victims of circumstances to feeling we
have some control over our lives.' Hetty Einzig
What happens?
Sessions usually take place one hour a week for 6-8 weeks and
you are helped to find a way to move forward with your problems. Counsellors
should first of all explain their organisation's protocol and rules
on confidentiality. You can ask to see their code of ethics and ask
as many questions as you need to. In some organisations the initial
assessment session is carried out by one person and the counselling
sessions by another. If your spouse is unwilling to go along, you could
go alone at first just to check out what is involved. In the first session,
you may be asked to talk about your family history and then discuss
your problems.
What are the costs?
Couple counselling is available via Marriage Care and Relate.
See our articles on them. Marriage Care does not set charges but requests
donations. Each Relate centre sets its own charges and you are expected
to pay according to your income. Private counselling may have a set
fee of between £30 and £80 an hour depending on where you live. Some
practioners offer discounts and you should always ask if payment is
a problem.
How do I find a private counsellor?
Seeing a private counsellor may be quicker in some areas. Counsellors
and other types of therapists can be accessed via the BACP, a governing
body. Details are given below.
New online and text service for emotional and psychosexual
problems
The
Relationship Experts
We welcome Paula Hall (Dip. PST - BASRT Accredited - CPCAB Adv Cert
Online Counselling) to the site as a valued and professional therapist.
She is a fully trained and experienced psychosexual therapist and relationship
counsellor. She is also a youth counsellor. As an accredited member
of the BASRT (British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy)
and general member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling
and Psychotherapy) she is bound by their Codes of Ethics and Complaints
Procedure.
What is her background?
Paula has pioneered the UK's first online psychosexual therapy service
online which helps couples with sexual problems. She also provides expert
online relationship therapy. There is also a text service available.
She has helped hundreds of clients, men and women, from all walks of
life with diverse relationship and sexual problems. Can she help you?
What is she like?
She describes herself as an ardent supporter of plain speaking and good
humour. She believes that when these attributes are mixed with kindness
and consideration, any relationship can thrive. We would describe her
as vivacious, extremely professional and capable. Above all, her kindness
shines through.
Why provide an online service?
Here we hear from Paula herself: "I have been working as a couple
counsellor for many years and I know how important a fulfilling sex
life is to a couple's relationship. For many people it is an important
way of expressing intimacy as well as being an opportunity to relax
together and have fun. I have heard couples refer to sex as the 'glue'
of their relationship. As a psychosexual therapist I know how difficult
it is to talk about sexual problems. Many clients already feel confused
and distressed - the thought of approaching a stranger to discuss the
intimate details, just adds embarrassment. Offering an online service
can overcome this. By its very nature the exchange of email is less
intrusive and more anonymous than traditional "face to face" therapies.
Working online offers the proven techniques of psychosexual therapy
to those clients who might otherwise feel too inhibited to seek help.
Paula's website is: www.the
relationshipspecialists.com
Please kindly mention Divorce Aid.
Struggling alone?
You may be alone and struggling to come to terms with your relationship
problems or the end of your marriage. This could be recent or a very
long time afterwards. Or you may have run out of friends who are willing
to listen one more time. Maybe you are just putting a brave face on
for everyone else's sake. Everyone may think you are fine and that you
are 'over it' and you may look like the life and soul of the party.
But with a counsellor you can be yourself and be truthful. The information
above also applies to one to one counselling.
Are there different kinds of therapy?
Yes and you can speak to the BACP about choosing a particular
kind or you can search on their website and read more.
What is therapy for?
The BACP says: It is a service provided when you wish to make
changes in your life, an opportunity to make sense of your individual
circumstances · Contact with a therapist can help identify the choices
for change and support you during your process of change. The end result
could leave you better equipped to cope for the future.
BACP British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy
BACP is the professional body for counselling and psychotherapy practitioners. It can provide you with a list of private counsellors in your area, plus information on counselling and choosing a counsellor. You can search for a counsellor/therapist on their website. You can also contact them by phone or by post.
35-37 Albert Street
Rugby CV31 2SG
Tel: 0870 443 5252
http://www.bacp.co.uk
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